There are too many ways in which to count, all the places we experience loss. Sometimes we lose an important friendship, a supportive relationship…sometimes there is an actual death. And then there is job loss, general disappointment…or depression that sets in, leaving us singing a song of sorrow. What I know, is that sometimes it is the most challenging thing to sit in the sting and the burn of loss. It is painful. Agonizing. Doing so takes us from our protective facades of being strong, of having it ‘all together.’ Allowing ourselves to have permission to grieve…can be frightening, indeed.
What I know, is that when we allow ourselves the opportunity to sit in the pain and embrace the truth of the loss, we can move through the pain, creating room to experience more open, beautiful, lighter spaces in our mind and body in which to let in peace and joy. The pain has to be acknowledged, witnessed, and compassion towards this part of our experience must have an opportunity to be felt. It is a bit like cleaning up a wound, whether this wound is fresh, and still a bit bloody, or if something triggering has come along to rip off a scab that we conveniently forgot we had. Taking time to properly care for the wound, no matter how deep, no matter how old…is imperative. It needs our attention.
With big wounds, we need help. We need a loved one, or an intentional friend with the capacity to empathize and to help carry our burden until we are strong enough to walk. They can’t do the work for us, but they can certainly help shoulder the weight…to be the ‘spotter’ so to speak, as we do the heavy lifting. A therapist can hold this space as well. We all need support. At times, we all need a caring shoulder to lean into. Please let me know if I can help you through that process. It would be an honor to serve you in that tender, vulnerable space.